Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize