I can tuck mytits in my pants
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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