I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
