Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
