i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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