His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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