is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
