his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.