get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink