I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
