dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.