Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
