I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
