New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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