I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just want nice things and good sex
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
