just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
