I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
