I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
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