When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
