he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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