They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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