Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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