Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize