No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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