i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
