oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Small penises have feelings too.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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