On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
