im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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