please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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