The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
