We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
