so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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