i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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