Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Umm I'm too high to move.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
