I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
