I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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