omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
