oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Less talking, more tequila
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Randomize
