Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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