god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
