We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
