I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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