Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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