Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
