i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
