no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
