Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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