I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize