singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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