Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Drunk is not a location!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
