I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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