just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
