Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
