What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
