He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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