I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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