You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
