508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
