I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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