I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
