If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize