Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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