Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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