from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
