so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
